WHAT'S HAPPENING: IT'S BEEN AWHILE



Why, hello there.
It sure has been awhile since I've sat down to write something just for fun or for myself and I've missed it.. But life has been busy. With three children starting a new school year, my own responsibilities building, and taking care of a family - well, it's been hard for me to find the time to share a small update of where I'm now at after my huge panic attack.

I'm not going to go into too much detail because that would take forever. There are just so many factors that went into my healing, and honestly, like most people I'm still working on my well-being every day. But I did want to share something important that I've learned from that frightening day.. How I finally saw the significance of taking care of my mental health first and foremost.

For those of you who don't know me (IRL), there is one thing you should understand about me and that's my deep love for all the people in my life. I've always been this person everyone can rely on for anything. I didn't realize how much of myself was being put into everyone's lives until I had nothing left to give to my own. And that's when I just couldn't be the girl everyone needed anymore. After coming to terms with this discovery, I had to make a major change in my life, and the following weeks were difficult. It was strange to not answer my phone or reply to texts. I almost didn't know how to spend my time on only myself, spouse, and children - which sounds weird, I know, but I felt guilty not worrying about whether or not my family was doing okay.
It took a lot out of me to get used to this new mindset of mine.
But eventually, I started to see myself again - that's the best way to describe it. . .
I didn't see multiple layers of myself, the ones trying to be different people for everyone in my life.. I only saw myself for who I am - and that's a girl who struggles with anxiety/depression no matter how amazing her life may be, and how taking care of herself first lets in a whole lot of freedom and happiness. Seeing how well my life has improved from tending to my mental health gives me hope. I like to believe that I won't ever abandon myself again, and that if I just keep going - it'll be okay in the end. So, if you were to take one thing away from my story, I hope it's that you see it's okay to be a little selfish sometimes.


xxo


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