THE LAST TIME

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This year will be the last time I send a kid off for their first day of Kindergarten.
My youngest will be starting summer school to help with his transition into class in the fall. Although I am thankful that our school district offers this. . . I just wish my baby could stay home for a little bit longer.

I'm a mixture of both good and bad emotions.
I'm nervous while I'm also excited.
I've gone through these emotions with my two oldest as well.
I used to be so foolish.. I believed parenting would get easier as the kids grew up, or by the time the third one was hitting a milestone that it would be easier than the first time to let go.. But I was wrong.
It never gets easier.
Every time I have to send my kid off to Kindergarten on that first day, it's always hard.

Maybe all of the nasty emotions that I feel stem from me being too overprotective?
I don't really know. . .
I just worry too much about every little thing that can go wrong.
Could they open their juice box? They remember their bus number, right? Do they know where to get off? Would if they don't see me?!
I know, I'm crazy.. That's my honest truth though.
I never like this process, even after going through it the past two years already.

All of the nasty emotions that I feel during the day make the good emotions worth it though.
By the time they get home from school, safely, I feel excited and hopeful.
I'm beyond proud every single time.
I can't help but love hearing about their day and the little drama that goes on with their friends, and how everything feels so grand to them.
My heart melts when I see them tie their shoes and pull on their backpacks the next morning.

They truly care about everything around them, and knowing how that makes them good people helps me realize that they'll be okay on that first day, and the days to come.. Even if their grown mother is at home worrying over everything.

So, this is the last time we will go through this process and yes, I am a little heartbroken because it means I don't have any more babies to snuggle with during the day..
I am also extremely proud, in my children and us.
I'm proud of myself for getting to this point in our lives.
I remember the nights where I cried because I thought I'd never be able to make it as a parent.
Here I am though, we have reached another milestone in our lives, and we are making it as parents.
I can only hope that we're doing okay.. I mean there's no rule book, but I feel like we're doing okay so that's going to have to be good for now.

This one's for the parents out there that are going through the same process as I am this year. You're doing great. It's going to be okay. There are parents all over just like us, and we'll get through that first day, the first year, together.


xxo


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