"My identity is me, but it is also my family.
Now, as a mom, I feel like I'm experiencing a part of my own life that I can't remember."
I saw the above quote while scrolling through Facebook yesterday, and I wish I could find where it came from but I couldn't. So, I'm sorry that I couldn't link it back to the correct source..
It's such a cliche to tell you how much I love quotes, but it's true. When I find a quote I truly relate to and understand, there is a sense of hope that surrounds me.. and this particular quote hit home with me. I've written a post in the past about how being a mother has always been enough for me, and for the most part I still feel that way. As I'm getting older and my children are becoming more independent there is a part of me that is becoming more of my own person though. I'm not just living in my children's shadows anymore.
For the past seven years all I've done is raised three small children - back to back - and felt as if that was all I'd ever do in my life. I didn't think I'd have the time or the energy to truly discover who I was. I didn't even have the time or energy to care what others thought about me anymore, or have the strength to be someone I wasn't, or have time to put care into relationships that were already broken. All of that showed me just how much I wore a mask on top of who I truly was and I didn't even realize it. I never realized how becoming a mother had stripped me of that mask, and allowed me to become more of myself without me even noticing. I guess I always thought I had to go to college and get drunk and make mistakes to find myself, but was I wrong. . .
Now - my children are older, doing more things on their own, and I feel like I'm meeting someone within for the very first time.
Becoming a mother has allowed me to remember the little girl I once was, before life became complicated and painful. The girl who was full of hopes and dreams. The girl who thought the world was such a magical world to live in. I see myself in my children every day and it is something special. I see how driven they are and how they just love life. The biggest compliment I have ever received was from my daughter's teacher, she told me how much she enjoyed how she loved life, how she shows up every day ready to tackle whatever comes her way in a positive way. I almost cried.. And that is what is so great about being surrounded by kids. They remind us of how great our lives can be. Being surrounded by this every day allowed me to find my own happiness. It allowed me to revisit someone I said good-bye to a long time ago, and bring forth that girl who had those dreams and wonder about her.
So, I agree with the above quote.
My identity is me, but it is also very much my own family and what they bring out in me.
Which I think we are all a part of the things in our lives, whether they are good or bad, and it's about what we choose to do with everything that makes us who we are. Becoming a mother at a young age may have been hard for me, but now I see how good it was for me. I don't wonder about the 'what ifs' in my life anymore and I have my family to thank for allowing me to let go, and say hello again.