Forgiving others is easy for me.
I'm naturally a very forgiving person - everything from the little things to the big things.
I guess it's because I've made so many mistakes in my own life that I believe everyone deserves a second chance - whether it's a small mistake or a big one. I'm certainly not perfect so how could I not forgive someone else for making a mistake, when I would hope they'd do the same for me?
Now - learning to forgive myself is the thing I have yet to figure out.
I just don't know how to forgive myself for the mistakes I've made.
Owning up to my mistakes and dealing with all my problems is something I understand - but forgiving myself for these things is a different story.
After I graduated high school - I spent a lot of time dreaming of my past.
I hated myself. I was disgusted with myself.
I let myself slack off my last 2 years of high school. I was a pretty good student, but once Junior year came around (the most important year) I just stopped caring. My logic was - There is no money for me to go to a college I like so why even try anymore? I made bad decisions and became lazy. I steered my own life into a different direction.
..& that was something I could never get over.
I became obsessed with the 'what ifs' - I was angry.
At that moment - I never thought I could forgive myself for what I saw as ruining my life.
My anxiety takes control when it comes to all my mistakes.
It takes over everything - I don't even have control of my own feelings.
Once I become obsessed with a mistake I have made - I analyze everything that I did wrong, what I could've done differently, and why I even made the mistake in the first place.
It's a horrible process.
I lived in a daydream of my past for a long time.
It finally came down to letting go of it all - all the anger and pain.
I realized that I was allowing this mistake in my life control everything going on in my present, and it broke my heart.. that is what I finally learned the power of forgiveness.
Forgiving yourself is such a powerful feeling.
It's not the same feeling as forgiving others - It's not the same as just letting go and moving on.
It's like shutting that door behind you shut and opening up the door in front of you.
Your mind becomes clear and you're able to embrace the present.
I don't understand why it's so easy for us to forgive others and not forgive ourselves.
We are a lot harder on ourselves than others - We expect the best from ourselves, but we are flawed and make mistakes just like everyone else. It's important to forgive ourselves just as we forgive others.
There are many things in my life I have yet to forgive myself for.
I still have a lot of learning to do, but I understand the power of forgiveness and I hope that's a good enough start for now.
Join me and leave a comment about a time you forgave yourself. Inspire through your own words.